What Happened to Us
by luckypenguinbuddy
Summary: Writers block has been rough on me so it's been quite a while since I've been brave enough to post anything new. Something I posted awhile back on tumble has been nagging me for some time now. I decided to start small and revisit it. So here we go. Hope you enjoy it. (Two-shot)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers: I own nothing Rizzoli & Isles. That is the privilege of Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and TNT. I love the show so much that I continue to use R & I as my muse. No infringement intended.**

 **A/N: Writers block has been rough on me so it's been quite a while since I've been brave enough to post anything new. Something I posted awhile back on tumble has been nagging me for some time now. I decided to start small and revisit it. So here we go. Hope you enjoy it.**

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Maura sighed heavily as she stepped outside for a moment, in hopes that a little fresh air would ease the throbbing in her head. Though her friends and family have all been so wonderful to her over the past few days (especially under the circumstances). Not one of them had barely left her alone for single a minute since it happened. This was the end of what could have been considered the longest week in Maura's adult life. Her ability to keep her mask in place for much longer was fading rapidly and she could feel it slipping away faster by the minute. She was not feeling very strong or holding up well but they had to believe she was for a little bit longer. Just until she could get them to leave for the evening. Then and only then could she fall apart.

Maura understood that everyone around her was just being supportive, in their own way of course, but they were ultimately suffocating her. She was not used to this type of hovering attention. All Maura really wanted right now was curl to up into a tiny ball and wait for her best friend to arrive. To come swooping in with her usual swagger and wit telling her everything was going to be alright. Because right now nothing in her mind was alright. She knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon. She was also beginning to realize her actions over this past year had drastically changed her life and she was now seeing that many of those changes were not for the better like she had originally thought they were.

As Maura stood soaking in the silence, she was half expecting the side door to swing open at any moment with either one of her mothers or Angela's face to be looking out at her. If not one of them then they would surely be sending Frankie out looking for her before long.

She hadn't really been paying attention to anything in particular as she breathed in the cool spring air allowing her mind wander. It wasn't until the blinding glare of the sunlight reflecting onto her face that she was brought back to the moment…back to her current surroundings. The sudden flash of light in her eyes was enough to cause her to shift her gaze slightly, it was then that she noticed the unfamiliar car parked in her driveway. She watched as a tall lithe body stepped out of the vehicle slipping into a jacket. She continued to watch as this woman sauntered up the walkway closing the distance between the two of them.

"I know you think it's because I didn't like him…that I didn't come sooner." The raspy voice whispered.

It wasn't until Jane actually spoke that Maura knew it wasn't a dream. That voice told her that her friend was really standing there in front of her. That her eyes weren't just playing tricks on her like they had been for days now.

"You stopped coming around whenever he was here, Jane. What was I supposed to think?" Maura answered looking up into her friend's eyes for the first time in three months.

The shakiness in her voice was clear, "I tried to get here sooner Maura. I honestly did."

"You missed the funeral and burial service." _You weren't here when I really need you._ Maura's mind finished.

Taking a moment to gather herself and allowing a deep sigh to slip from her chest, Jane answered, "That was not my intention, Maura. You need to know I'd never intentionally not be here for you. Especially not at a time like this."

Her voice coming out colder than she intended, "There is no need to explain, Jane. Angela has already apologized for you and told me about the difficulty she had in reaching you. The only thing we could find out for days is that you had been sent out-of-state for some sort of case. You had your phone off."

"Maura. Come on." Jane sighed again as she flipped her hair to one side. With a slight smile beyond her control lighting up her face she continued, "You have to believe that there isn't any case or anywhere in the world that the FBI could ever send me that would be more important." _than you are to me_ Jane thought, "I'm Sorry. I didn't get anyone's messages until after I talked to Ma."

Quickly wiping a tear away, "I needed my friend by my side earlier today, Jane."

Stepping closer to her friend now Jane spread her arms out wide, "I know Maura…I know you did and I wanted to be here for you…I know that I should have called…" Jane shook her head, "…but by the time Ma got a hold of me a-and she explained what happened I got on the first flight I could get but none of them were…I couldn't get any direct flights. I. Am. So. So…sorry that I wasn't here for you sooner than this, Maura."

Finally taking a good look at her friend's appearance. Her overly wrinkled clothing and the dark circles under her the woman's eyes then taking note of the different vehicle her friend had driven up in she asked, "So you drove here from Texas then?"

"No…Yeah…sort of." The tired woman blew out a breath, "I flew into D.C. because it was the closet I could get. I had to change planes in Kansas first though…then drove the rest of the way."

Letting the tears freely flow Maura whispered, "You didn't even tell me that you were leaving town. I-I tried calling you but I didn't want to leave that kind of message. S-s-so I went over to your apartment and y-you weren't home. Your phone went right to voice mail. When I called your office all they would say was you were out of the office." Maura finishes as she defeatedly stepped into those open and welcoming arms.

"I'm sorry Maur. I should have called you. I should have at least told you but I didn't tell anyone. I know that's no excuse but it was a classified case so I couldn't really say where I was going." _and I really didn't think anyone would miss me anyway_ "Besides…I really thought I'd only be gone a day or two." _and be home before you even noticed._

Stepping back to look up, "You're right. That is no excuse. You could have just told me you had to go out of town. When it was more than a day you should have told someone. You had everyone worried." Tapping the woman holding her with her a frustrated fist, "I'm still going to be mad at you over it but right now I am just relieved that you're here." And she truly was. More than even she could understand.

Skipping everything the woman in her arms had said but those last few words she said, "Me too, Maura. Me too." Biting her lip before saying the only thing she could get out, "I'm sorry to hear about Jack."

After leaning in and kissing the top of Maura's head Jane pulled her friend in close once more, "It's going to be okay, Maur. Maybe not today or tomorrow but I promise it will be." _Because this time I'm going to be here to make sure of it._

As much as she was hurting right now, Maura knew it would take time to get over losing him. That loss had to be dealt with in stages. This though. Being here like this was the start of the healing process. She knew it was. As crazy as she it seemed to her, she could feel it all the way to her bones. It also was time to start the healing process of so many other things that she had neglected in her life as well. This friendship being the first. Because somewhere along the way it had been broken.

Though it was true that she cared very deeply for Jack, Maura found that it hurt far more knowing Jane would leave town without telling her. She knew their friendship had changed in recent months but had not realized just how much until that moment. That Jane could be gone for five days and never consider checking in. That she had not tried to call her friend prior to what had happened.

Upon review it seemed they were becoming more like acquaintances rather than best friends these days. Maura knew Jack had filled much of her spare time but didn't realize just how much. The bigger adjustment though came when Jane took the position the FBI had offered her. Even though she was just across town working in the FBI's Boston field office they no longer saw each other every day. It seemed their communication had been narrowed down to only phone calls and texts as of late. Something Maura was only now understanding.

The fact that Jane would pick-up and leave town at a moment's notice, not thinking twice about contacting her was more than enough proof of that change. That separation.

Maura wondered how many other times had Jane left town or had her life been in danger that she hadn't heard about. How much of their conversations had been edited to fit the time constraints. In the brief moments she was granted alone she had not thought of Jack but found that she calculated all the times Jane had initiated their contact over the past year verses hers efforts. It wasn't until right at that very moment though that she put it all together. She was the one cutting Jane out of her life, not the other way around like she had initially thought. She hadn't seen Jane for three months because she had either cancelled on the other woman or had to change plans due to Jack's schedule.

Maura didn't know if it was the fresh air or being in Jane's arms like she was right now but she knew she could breathe for the first time in days and the pounding in her head was gone. She was filled with a warm feeling that consumed her from head to toe.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"I know I don't deserve it and I haven't been a very good friend lately but would you please promise me that you won't ever leave town again without telling me…or…s-someone that you're going?"

Jane chuckled and gave her a squeeze, "You don't have to worry about that Maura, because I'm home…um…home for good now."

"For good?"

"Yeah" Jane signed, "But we can talk about that later." Pulling away so she could look, really look her friend over for the first time she asked, "How are you really doing…with everything? "

"I don't know. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Everything is off kilter. Everything just happened so fast."

Jane took it as her que and shifted them toward the bench in the yard.

"I feel so empty…so confused. Confused about everything that happened."

She bit her lip and ran her hand through her unruly hair, "Yeah, Ma said you put the wedding on hold? Before…um…"

"Yes. I'm still not sure why, but I felt claustrophobic every time we discussed any plans. He agreed with my request to take a step back and I agreed to meet him for dinner. He seemed uncomfortable and since I was uncomfortable as well I didn't ask what was wrong. Everything was awkward between the two of us during the meal. He seemed agitated over everything I said to him. Then he collapsed just as we got up to leave. EMS was called immediately and he was already gone by the time they arrived."

"Oh Maur." Was all Jane could bring herself to say. She was hurting for her friend but didn't know how to make her better.

"He asked me if I loved him. I never answered him, Jane." She looked at her friend with such pain in her eyes that Jane wanted to cry for her, "I did love him but when the time came…when I was watching him slip away…I couldn't say it! Why? He was dying, Jane and I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. What is wrong with me?" She begged as she dropped her face into her hands and began to sob.

Jane wanted to say _'nothing…nothing is wrong with her. That she was perfect.'_ Though for her part she stayed quiet. As Maura sobbed and began to shiver Jane quickly removed her blazer, wrapping it around the smaller woman. She then pulled her into a side hug just rubbing her friends arm up and down in a show of comfort and support. She couldn't have use her voice if her life depended on it because her mind was screaming too loudly. Berating herself for her own selfishness. For not being there for this woman when she was needed.

After a few moments when Maura showed no signs of calming down Jane took the sobbing woman fully into her arms whispering whatever comforting words that came to mind.

Jane had heard her mother's voice in the distance calling out for Maura but she was nowhere to be found when she finally pulled her attention away from the woman in her arms.

Maura finally calmed down and the full weight of her body sagged into Jane's chest when she spoke, "I am really glad you are here, Jane." She sighed deeply, "For some reason, I not only know everything will get better, but I feel it." And she truly did.

Yes, Maura knew she was going to be alright. That this was the start of the healing process. Healing the most important relationship in her life right now. The one that had been taken for granted and neglected for far too long because Jane was there with her right now. She was there for her. Even though she hadn't deserved it. Even though she had not been a very good friend in return.

Maura pulled Jane in even closer to her while breathing in deeply. Comforted in everything that was Jane. Everything that she now realized she had missed for far too long, "Thank you Jane."

Slightly confused, Jane leaned down to look into her friend's face, "For what?"

"For everything. For coming into my life…for being the person to fly across the country and drive the rest of the way when you couldn't get here fast enough. For being you and caring so much about me when I clearly haven't been the best friend to you lately."

Giving Maura an all-consuming hug Jane said, "You are my best friend, Maura. It's what friends do for one another." _and I'd do it all again because I love you._ She then mentally corrected herself. _I'd do anything for you because I'm in love with you._ The truth was she knew she would never have to try to get back to this woman ever again because she never planned to be too far away ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** *peaks from behind my hands* I hope you liked it?

What these two women didn't know at that very moment in time was that it wouldn't take very long at all for Maura's heart to heal.

It took Jane several days into Maura's healing process to convince the doctor to take a little more time off work and take a little trip with her.

They took a week and a half to drive up the East Coast and back. Needing to get away from everything and relax for a while was the final selling point. It was a chance to enjoy the weather and go wherever they decided to with no prior planning. This had been something they had discussed doing for the past several years but lacked the time to do it. To take it day to day, seeing things one of them had never seen before or seeing things together for the first time.

It took several days into that trip for Jane to build up the nerve to admit to Maura why she was suddenly so free and able to take a trip like the one they were on. The reason she would no longer need to leave town for any type of case in the future. The fact that she had resigned from her position at the FBI and was now jobless. What was harder to admit was the real reason for her actions. That it was over an altercation she had had with her boss about taking the time off work in the middle of an important case to come home for that very friend in front of her at that very moment. Maura didn't know whether to be furious or deeply touched at the time.

It didn't take much longer to sort out what Jane was going to do with her life now that she was unemployed. It wasn't as long or as painful as Jane initially thought it would be to find employment again. It only took a day and a half between the admittance, the discussion and the few phone calls required to fix the situation. Thanks to Maura's help that is. That being done and off both of their minds they could and did relax for the remainder of their vacation.

It was only a ten day trip but it was the time away from everything and everyone that seemed to refresh them both. Just the two of them bonding and rekindling their friendship. It was something that both women needed more than either of them even understood at the time. When they returned home there was a definite change in both women and everyone saw it. It seemed to radiate off of them. They were back to their inseparable selves but even more so than ever before. They were stronger when they were together.

It took exactly thirty-six days from Jane's arrival home for Maura's heart to heal. It might have been twenty-seven but they caught a big case that first week Jane had returned as a detective back in the homicide unit at BPD. You could say that those nine days only confirmed what Jane already knew was true. Though it was long overdue, it was something that was needed to be voiced out loud and it was then when it finally happened.

Because you see, it was on that thirty-sixth day that Maura found the answer to that very harrowing question that had haunted her from the moment of Jacks death. Why she couldn't bring herself to say those very precious words the dying man waited to hear coming from those lips of hers. Even the knowledge in knowing he was taking his dying breath she couldn't bring herself to say 'I love you' to him. A fact that she later realized to be true, was that she had never actually voiced those exact words to him at all. Not even after his proposal.

She found that the answer was there all along, had she only looked for it. It had just been at a distance for a little while just waiting on the side lines to be noticed again. To be understood. To be accepted.

It was on that thirty-sixth day that Maura finally knew where her heart really belonged. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that it had belonged to that tall raven haired woman all along. The woman who until recent months had been a very integral part in every asset of her life. The woman who stepped back offering her happiness with a man she thought she loved. The woman who had resigned from her position at the FBI so that she could get back to her friend. No matter the cost to her or without a care in the world as to what would happen to her in the future. The woman who was willing to empty her bank account and use whatever method and means possible to get home to the woman she loved beyond words. The woman who held her tightly in her arms vowing to never let her go again. The woman that had just told her that she was in love with her and had been for as long as she could remember.

 _Jane sat on the couch fidgeting. Maura had stopped her twice before the nervous woman finally spoke, "Maur, I have to tell you something and I'm not sure how you'll feel about it or how you'll feel about me for that fact…um…after I say it, but I just can't keep it a secret any longer."_

 _Maura sat the book she was reading down, "What possible secret could you be keeping that has you this stressed out?"_

 _Turning her body to face the smaller woman she started rambling again, "Jeez…it shouldn't be this hard you know?" She reprimanded herself aloud, letting her shoulders slump further down than they already were, "I need you to know something I've been thinking about for a very long time. It's just…"_

 _Maura reached out her hand to stop the other woman's left hand that was not so gently rubbing at the scar tissue in her other palm, "You know you can tell me anything right? Especially if it is bothering you this much, Jane."_

 _Taking a few breaths in an attempt to ground herself Jane decided to just go for it. She lifted her eyes looking directly into the eyes she loved so much, "Maur, I need to tell you that I love you." She let out a defeated grunt, "That…I'm in love with you…that I've felt like this for so long and I can't even remember when it actually started. I just know it hurts to not say it to you. It's just…I don't want you to hate me for feeling this way and I want you to know I'm working on it. I don't want it to be a problem the next time you meet someone…" She looked back down at her hands again, fighting back the tears that wanted so badly to fall, "…you know…like it was when you were with Jack? Because it got in the way and I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I was only thinking of myself then and not being a very good best friend like I should have been." Forcing her words out with more determination in her voice now to get through this, "I want you to know, Maur…that's never gonna happen again cuz I promise you…I promise that I'll be there for you…no matter what."_

 _It wasn't until she felt the well-manicured hand, of her friend, lifting her chin that she stopped her rambling._

 _"_ _I am in love you too, Jane. I have always been but I never thought that my feelings could be mutually reciprocated."_

 _Looking back up into those beautiful tear filled eyes sitting across from her, Jane chuckled more from shock than anything, "Mutually reciprocated? God Maura…it couldn't be more mutual. At least from my end anyway."_

 _Maura pulled the taller woman down into her offering the woman she loved the most heart-felt hug they had ever shared over the years._

 _"_ _If it is alright with you, Jane, I would like to stop look for someone to share my life with…" Pulling back enough to look into those very dark brown eyes and no longer resisting the smile that wanted to consume her face she added, "…because I believe I've found her."_

 _Returning the infectious smile and now finding her voice shakier than it had been through this entire conversation Jane responded with an almost pleading note in her tone, "Yes, please stop looking…because I honestly don't think my heart could take seeing you with anyone else ever again. I know I said I'd try, but in all honesty I think it would have killed me." Jane so forcefully pulled the honey blonde into another hug that the smaller woman almost landed in the brunettes lap. After a moment she started laughing. Laughing with such relief she could hardly breathe. Her entire body was shaking, "What took us so long to figure this out, Maur?" She gasped out. Relief finally flowing through her veins._

 _"_ _Does it really matter if we're here now?"_

 _Jane stopped laughing. Her nerves calming. She answered, "Nah, I guess not."_

 _Oh and that first kiss. However awkward it may have started out soon turned into something that was so much better than either of them could have expected. For it was that night that Jane and Maura's relationship took a turn for the better. The night that Maura knew her heart had found what was missing. The night they took the step forward and become lovers. Because after their confessions of love to one another. They came together over and over again until they were exhausted. Until it was clear that they were meant to be right where they were, now and forever._

It took another eighty-three days from that day to confess their love for one another again, only this time it was in front of their family and friend's. This time vowing to love each other 'until death do we part'.

In those eighty-three days Maura found that she no longer had an issue saying the words 'I love you' or showing it either, especially when it came to offering those feelings to the right person. She found she liked saying it often. As often as she possibly could and she liked it even better when it was returned to her. Whether it was returned by those very words said to her or through other actions that made it crystal clear that she was loved very, very much. It was those times that she both heard it and felt it that she loved the most. She found those feeling almost addicting and just couldn't get enough of those shared moments.

The other thing Maura eventually found funny was that she really enjoyed every minute she spent planning her wedding to Jane. Jane on the other hand, was not as joyful at times and may have been a little claustrophobic as well when it came to her mother's involvement in their plans. The truth of the matter was, had it not been for all three of their mother's helping out, their wedding wouldn't have been as soon as they wanted it to be or it wouldn't have turned out exactly as they had planned it to be either.

The thing that was most important to both women in their planning process was the day they had chosen to be their wedding day. That above all else was the only thing that took precedence and was un-changeable. It was what guided them the rest of the way.

Their vows were not said at Fenway Park over home plate in matching Red Sox Jersey's or there ceremony wasn't a performed in the cliffs of Sarinntoi right above a volcano while wearing gowns with empire waists that were made of silk charmeuse and sporting twenty foot trains. Between the two, they had decided that those things were once the individual dreams of young girls from long ago. No this wedding was a very special one. Special because it was very much about the two of them and their life they had created together. From the venue that they had found to the cake they would cut together and politely share a piece of.

One of the things from Maura's dream that they did actually choose, after Jane had tasted it, was the hazelnut almond cake with chocolate ganache frosting. Deciding to leave the mocha buttercream frosting for another occasion because it was so good too.

Thanks to Constance Isles connections the wedding was being held at the Yankee Clipper Inn, in Rockport. Where thankfully the fall weather was warmer than normal so that the ceremony could be held outside. Their vows were exchanged in a warm breeze while overlooking the Sandy Bay.

Both women had looked relaxed and happy standing before the minister as they spoke the words that came from their hearts. Maura had done her best to have it end up that way by having Hope go along with Angela to help Jane pick out what she was wearing. The trade-off was that Maura got to have all three mothers in attendance while she found hers. Whatever had went on and stresses that occurred during that time worked because both women couldn't have looked more beautiful and both seemed to be glowing.

As soon as they finished their first meal as a married couple Maura leaned over and gave Jane a quick kiss on the lips then turned to whisper in her loves ear.

Jane cleared her throat as she stood up, "Um…excuse me. Everybody please…can we have your attention? I know that traditionally the brides aren't supposed to give the toast…" Jane chuckled, "…but since when have we ever taken the traditional route? And since we don't actually have a maid of honor or a best man…cuz I guess for us they are called attendants or witnesses now. I don't care what you want to called them. I call them family, and I'm just happy that Vince and Frankie agreed to do it for us. It really means a lot guys. Really." She reached down taking her wife's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to which Maura took the hint and stood next to the shaking woman offering her support. Slipping an arm around her wife's waist and giving a slight nod of reassurance.

"Um…anyway here it goes." Taking a moment to look over at Maura before looking out at all their guests, "I know many of you have said to us that today starts the beginning of our story. 'Our new life together'." She used air quotes, "We talked about it and I think we both have to disagree. Not that we are saying you're wrong…but…you are wrong. All of you."

Everyone started laughing and clinking there glasses chanting kiss-kiss-kiss. Jane leaned down giving Maura a full kiss on the lips until the crowd quieted back down.

Giving Maura a mischievous wink she continued, "If you guys keep that up I won't get through this speech." Jane looked at her watch, "Okay, so I what to dance with my wife before we have to go so let me get through this…okay? So where was I anyway? Oh…oh yeah." She snapped her fingers remembering, "We talked about it and we agreed that our story actually started eight years ago. Because it was eight years ago today that we first met in the Division One Café at BPD. Even as rocky as that first meeting was, that was the day that both of our lives changed forever. We didn't know it at the time because we had to go through a lot of shi-stuff to get to where we are right now. Because for some reason we needed to take a trip to hell and back a few time before we figured it out. We just can't forget about that part of our lives because it made us who we are. Who we are together."

Jane closed her eyes for a moment. Remembering, "To honor all the people we lost. I think both of them would be happy that we are here today. To all the other friends and family we managed to find along the way. I'm not sure why it took us eight years to get here and Maura says it doesn't matter anyway."

"It doesn't, Jane." Maura added lightly squeezing the hip of the woman next to her.

Again the crowd laughed as Jane continued, "All I know for sure is that I wouldn't change a single thing. To be honest…I'm afraid that if I did change something, then we wouldn't be here today…we might not be together." She finished shakily.

With a slight smirk she added, "I'm not gonna mess with fate like that and Maura doesn't do 'what if's'."

Lifting her free arm and wrapping it around her wife before she continued on, "You see, it was eight years ago today that we had met the love of our lives. Even if it took us this long to know it. I for one am so darn happy we finally made it. That we finally figured it out. So now the only change we are making in our story, is that we are now moving forward together."

Maura continued, "We also wanted to say thank you to all of you that had a hand it helping us get here. It means more than you will ever know. It also means so much to us that you were willing to spend the weekend celebrating with us."

Jane leaned down giving her wife a quick kiss on the lips, "Okay, so raise your glasses and toast with us. To a long and happy life!"

The two women lift their champagne glasses, tapping each other's glass then raising them toward all the guests before taking a sip, "So, let's get the music going because I want to dance with my wife before we have to catch our flight to Santorini. Cuz I'm not missing my honeymoon!" Jane shouts.

Maura tugged Jane down whispering in her ear again, "Um…I guess we have a few others to dance with as well, like you Vince and you too Frankie so don't go anywhere." She points at both men

"So let's get this party started then!" Frankie yells out.

Both women nodded their agreement. It was time to have fun and celebrate their life as wife and wife. Jane for one was ready to cut loose but before she did that she pulled Maura against her and kissed with all the love she could. She then held her hand out, "May I have this dance, Maura?"

Maura reached out taking her wife's hand said, "It would be my pleasure, Jane." They turned and made their way onto the dance floor as Brandi Carlile's 'The Story' began to play.

 **Another A/N:** As soon as Jane  & Maura finished their first dance together Frankie had the DJ play 'Raise Your Glass' by Pink for his sister's. They not only dance with each other that night but they both danced with Korsak and Frankie. They also danced with all three of their mothers before the evening ended. They ended their reception dancing to the song 'She Keeps Me Warm' by Mary Lambert. And just so you know…they did make their flight to Santorini where they spent two wonderful weeks soaking up the beauty of the Island and enjoying each other as well.


End file.
